Category Archives: love on the internet

Snog Marry or Avoid!

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I’ve recently found out about a new dating site that was launched in November 2010 it is called Snog Marry Avoid. Not the TV show with the same name.  This dating site is for singles aged 18-30, its free to join, unless you want additional features,  like instant messaging. The idea is you look at random profiles and pictures of people and press a button to say if you would… yes you’ve got it, Snog Marry or Avoid, and hopefully they will do the same back to you.  You can also add a message when doing this.


This is absolutely fine and great, but …….. you know what I’m going to say – its open to abuse, right away I can see the bullying aspect of it here – kids avoiding people or pretending they like someone, or just winding them up and or getting their hopes up. People I know are on this site and they are under 18, they also say how old they are in their profiles so there is not much to stop this happening.   All of the photographs that I have seen so far are of very attractive people so I’m not sure where the other people are!   At least so far, I haven’t seen any indecent pictures.


The main thing that worries me is that you can choose to snog, marry or avoid and send messages anonymously even though you have to sign up with an email and user name. If you are looking for someone why do it in secret? This part of it just makes me a little anxious for our teens and vulnerable people.  It really annoys me that people that designers allow this, there is no reason to be anonymous unless you are up to no good. 


Edit: I have since found out that there are two unconnected sites One is snogmarryavoid.me and one is snogmarryavoid.org and the one that seems to have most of the underage users is snogmarryavoid.me.  


Snogmarryavoid.org are spending lots of money on safety by removing scammers and any suspect profiles. They also regularly check for under 18′s and delete them immediately.  They also have a report button so that member can contact the office to report and suspicious or offensive profiles.  In addition to this you can also block the ip address and Mac address if someone worries you. 



For non members at snogmarryavoid.org I can see it could be just a bit of fun, I don’t think you are going to find your dream lover or your life partner without being a member. Members can have many more features such as video profiles so by revealing more of your personality. Also as a  non member you can search for people in your area but as a member you can search by age, interests and other criteria. Members prices start at about £5 a month – that doesn’t seem so bad.  They say they now have 500,000 members so if that’s true, its quite popular. 



This is why they say you should join. 


REASONS TO JOIN

Snogmarryavoid is the one of the largest dating sites for young singles in the UK. See below for more reasons to us now.
  • Free to join
  • 500,000 members and growing
  • On average 40,000 new members each month
  • Chat with other members
  • Send winks to break the ice
  • UK Telephone suport
  • Easy to use
  • All members’ profiles are checked by our support team
  • Quick, free and easy to join

I think it seems a pretty good idea on the whole, I like the idea of dating sites in our day and age, as long as they are well run and safe. I explain more here with more suggestions on how to be safe in my blog, Love on the internet. I don’t think that this site actually arranges anything, I guess that is up to you. So be safe and don’t meet anyone until you can be sure about them, tell someone else where and when you are going, and or maybe take someone with you the first time.  If they like you they will understand. 

Hope this helps. 



Love on the Net

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We all know the film “You’ve Got Mail”  its one of my favourites – about how two people who fell in love on the internet, although fraught with problems, they lived happily ever after.
What do I know?
That’s what we all want isn’t it – our own happy-ever-after? Well it does seem that you can find it on the internet. I admit that I’m no love guru but I do know a bit about it :)  and I also know people who met on the internet and years later are still together, and I have been social networking online for at least 15 years, yes I am that old. 
Internet dating
Internet dating sites are more popular now than ever before -  and there is not the taboo about them as their used to be. They seem to be working ok, and are pretty safe. However you don’t really need dating sites, you can meet someone on any of the social networking sites/forums/chat rooms (And I don’t mean Chatroulette that’s another blog). 

When you least expect it….

Finding love or friendship for that matter online is the same a finding it in real life, you have to be honest and hope that the person you are talking to is being the same, be yourself, not be someone who you think they want. Its true what they say that  love always comes along when you are not looking for it, and sometimes don’t even want it – I don’t know why – but its true, its happened to me all of my life.
Chill out, don’t be desperate about it, no one likes desperation, forcing yourself on another person will scare them away.  If someone finds you interesting and wants to talk to you they will, if they don’t – its their loss.
Relax, just have fun meeting new people, you won’t find prince charming overnight.

Silly Games, same as in real life, don’t play them, – unless its an Xbox game :)   

A prod now and then won’t hurt, if maybe they are shy, unsure or even busy, but full blown hassling doesn’t go down well, unless of course you are online friends all ready and they can take a joke, that’s different.
Offline you can experience “love at first sight” – although this is more difficult to find online, “love at first byte” does happen.  Those first words shared as you both open up and find out a bit more about each other, when you feel that fluttery feeling in your stomach and think, yes, I really like him/her – and you can’t wait for that next email, or that next bleep that tells you they are online. What a great feeling, when they message you first.  In fact “love at first byte” is better in my opinion, as its not about appearance, but what is inside.
Fishing?
So its dreamtime, you’ve met someone –  nevertheless, we still have to be clever, remember that if you have a blog or websites on line, he/she may have already done some research and might have lots of information already, for instance they might say “I love fishing, what do you like to do?” You’ll say, “Wow, I love fishing too, its fate!” ha-ha! Great example I felt.
I don’t want to put a downer on internet dating because it can work.  And lets be honest, everything in life is potentially dangerous, so sometimes we just have to take a chance, throw caution to the wind – you do only get one life and you have to live it.


Not really paranoid
On the other hand,  its easy to be deceived and there are a lot of strange people on the internet, you can trust your gut feeling but that can be wrong or you just aren’t sure.   
As you get to know them…
  • know where they work
  • know who their friends are
  • maybe even get introduced online with their friends
  • don’t give out your full address
  • talk openly with them on open channels not just privately in an email or chat
  • what do other friends say about them? 
  • Be a detective, check them out on Google, yes you heard me. Its not stalking (well it is a bit).
We have to be safe, just to make sure of their identity. You don’t have to mistrust everyone or anyone in fact but get the facts straight. Finally when you are positive about the person,  you might talk on the telephone or Skype.  (I wouldn’t advise giving out your phone number, unless you were certain.) Don’t meet them right away, wait until you are confident, if they are the one they will wait, if they don’t wait then maybe they are a scammer/con-person/rapist/married or they are just not that into you.




Do I sound totally mistrustful? There is a reason why:  One person I know had a bad experience, she met a guy on My Space who said she was the most beautiful woman he had met, best thing since sliced bread, etc etc, he loved her, wanted to come over from America and take  her back with him to live, he was of course a millionaire.  They were talking for ages, exchanging photos, emails, the lot. Anyway he came over to get her (evidently) – and it all turned out to be fake.  Bogus. A big fat liar.  I can’t say anymore but she was safe in the end.
Forgive me, I’m a Pisces (that’s my excuse) – I always see both sides of the story –  The good and the bad  however absolutely wonderful it can be to find love on the internet, and I can get totally carried away with the idea but I do see the other suspicious side too – nevertheless it can and does happen, just be careful out there. 
What is your experience, did it work for you, were you conned, or is it just  not happening? It would be great for us to find out more, so please let us know.