We all know the film “You’ve Got Mail” its one of my favourites – about how two people who fell in love on the internet, although fraught with problems, they lived happily ever after.
What do I know?
That’s what we all want isn’t it – our own happy-ever-after? Well it does seem that you can find it on the internet. I admit that I’m no love guru but I do know a bit about it and I also know people who met on the internet and years later are still together, and I have been social networking online for at least 15 years, yes I am that old.
Internet dating sites are more popular now than ever before - and there is not the taboo about them as their used to be. They seem to be working ok, and are pretty safe. However you don’t really need dating sites, you can meet someone on any of the social networking sites/forums/chat rooms (And I don’t mean Chatroulette that’s another blog).
When you least expect it….
Finding love or friendship for that matter online is the same a finding it in real life, you have to be honest and hope that the person you are talking to is being the same, be yourself, not be someone who you think they want. Its true what they say that love always comes along when you are not looking for it, and sometimes don’t even want it – I don’t know why – but its true, its happened to me all of my life.
Chill out, don’t be desperate about it, no one likes desperation, forcing yourself on another person will scare them away. If someone finds you interesting and wants to talk to you they will, if they don’t – its their loss.
Relax, just have fun meeting new people, you won’t find prince charming overnight.
Silly Games, same as in real life, don’t play them, – unless its an Xbox game
A prod now and then won’t hurt, if maybe they are shy, unsure or even busy, but full blown hassling doesn’t go down well, unless of course you are online friends all ready and they can take a joke, that’s different.
Offline you can experience “love at first sight” – although this is more difficult to find online, “love at first byte” does happen. Those first words shared as you both open up and find out a bit more about each other, when you feel that fluttery feeling in your stomach and think, yes, I really like him/her – and you can’t wait for that next email, or that next bleep that tells you they are online. What a great feeling, when they message you first. In fact “love at first byte” is better in my opinion, as its not about appearance, but what is inside.
So its dreamtime, you’ve met someone – nevertheless, we still have to be clever, remember that if you have a blog or websites on line, he/she may have already done some research and might have lots of information already, for instance they might say “I love fishing, what do you like to do?” You’ll say, “Wow, I love fishing too, its fate!” ha-ha! Great example I felt.
I don’t want to put a downer on internet dating because it can work. And lets be honest, everything in life is potentially dangerous, so sometimes we just have to take a chance, throw caution to the wind – you do only get one life and you have to live it.
Not really paranoid
On the other hand, its easy to be deceived and there are a lot of strange people on the internet, you can trust your gut feeling but that can be wrong or you just aren’t sure.
As you get to know them…
- know where they work
- know who their friends are
- maybe even get introduced online with their friends
- don’t give out your full address
- talk openly with them on open channels not just privately in an email or chat
- what do other friends say about them?
- Be a detective, check them out on Google, yes you heard me. Its not stalking (well it is a bit).
We have to be safe, just to make sure of their identity. You don’t have to mistrust everyone or anyone in fact but get the facts straight. Finally when you are positive about the person, you might talk on the telephone or Skype. (I wouldn’t advise giving out your phone number, unless you were certain.) Don’t meet them right away, wait until you are confident, if they are the one they will wait, if they don’t wait then maybe they are a scammer/con-person/rapist/married or they are just not that into you.
Do I sound totally mistrustful? There is a reason why: One person I know had a bad experience, she met a guy on My Space who said she was the most beautiful woman he had met, best thing since sliced bread, etc etc, he loved her, wanted to come over from America and take her back with him to live, he was of course a millionaire. They were talking for ages, exchanging photos, emails, the lot. Anyway he came over to get her (evidently) – and it all turned out to be fake. Bogus. A big fat liar. I can’t say anymore but she was safe in the end.
Forgive me, I’m a Pisces (that’s my excuse) – I always see both sides of the story – The good and the bad however absolutely wonderful it can be to find love on the internet, and I can get totally carried away with the idea but I do see the other suspicious side too – nevertheless it can and does happen, just be careful out there.
What is your experience, did it work for you, were you conned, or is it just not happening? It would be great for us to find out more, so please let us know.